Her Daughter Found Her Passed Out in the Tub. That Was the Day Deborah's Comeback Began.
Deborah is a graduate of the Rise Discipleship women's home. Before she got there, she was, in her own words, a hot mess.
She was trying to juggle being a mom, getting high, and holding down a job, and it wasn't working. Underneath it were past hurts she couldn't seem to let go of, so she numbed them with meth. For a while she convinced herself she had it handled.
"I thought I was doing life. I was taking care of my kids, I was working. But at the end of the day, I was in my bathroom for five hours getting high. It was all a facade."
The Lie She Believed
The lie was that the meth was working, that it was covering all her hurts. She also told herself God wasn't hearing her. Looking back, she sees the truth: He couldn't get through, because she was too busy getting high to listen.
The Day the Door Came Down
Her lowest moment came in that bathroom. Her daughter was beating on the door, and when it finally opened, she found her mother passed out in the tub with the dope and the pipe beside her. A daughter should never have to see that.
"I was exposed. I broke her heart. That was really the lowest point."
But it was also a starting point. Her daughter tried to get her to the hospital while Deborah fell down the stairs and back up them, and she ended up in a psych ward for two weeks. When she got out, her daughter stood firm.
"She said, 'Mom, you need to get help, or you won't see me or your grandson again.'"
The Thing Every Other Rehab Was Missing
A friend who had been through Rise asked Deborah if she was truly ready. She said yes. She and her daughter took a road trip five hours from home, and she calls it the best thing that has ever happened to her.
It wasn't her first attempt. She had been to rehabs in California and one in a homeless shelter. She already knew how to get sober. But something had always been missing.
"I knew how to get sober, but I didn't have Christ with me."
This time was different. She built a real relationship with God while learning a routine and learning how to live life again, with joy in her heart. Not that everything is rainbows and unicorns, she says, but with God she can get through it. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe again.
Loved Like She'd Never Been Loved
What struck Deborah first was the welcome. Not the polite, procedural acceptance of a rehab, but something real.
"I felt loved like I've never felt before. And I was finally accepted somewhere. It was genuine. I felt at home."
She had never had structure in her life, and the home's steady routine gave her exactly what she needed. She learned how to build relationships, how to talk through problems, how to receive counsel from leaders who genuinely cared, sometimes with tough love, but always good love. When she wanted to give up, they spent more time with her, not less. One phrase from her leader stuck with her: take a second second. Stop and think before making a rash decision.
The Weight Came Off
Around her fifth or sixth month, on an evening no different from any other, God finally broke through during worship. She kept pressing in, and then she started bawling.
"I felt like God just took all that weight I was carrying off of me. He bore it for me on the cross, and I'd been holding it this whole time. I was finally able to surrender it all to Him."
She had spent her whole life crying out to Jesus only in moments of desperation. Now she talks to God daily. She gets in the Word, she prays, she worships, not out of panic, but out of a real relationship. She says she doesn't carry the old worries anymore. She once took two medications for anxiety and depression. Today she takes none.
"I trust Him more now than I ever have. He says to cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for me. And I've seen it time and time again."
What's Next
Deborah is genuinely excited about this next season. She wants to help other people the way God, and the home, helped her. She doesn't know exactly what that will look like yet, but she knows God has plans, and for the first time she feels prepared for them.
Her thank-you to the people who made it possible is simple and direct: "You've saved my life. You gave my kids their mom back. You gave me a chance to start fresh."
If This Is You
Deborah thought the meth was holding her together. It was tearing her family apart. If that's where you are, or if you're the daughter, the mother, or the friend watching someone you love disappear, don't wait. It's free, a real person answers day or night, and it starts with one call.
Ready to reach out? Get help now. Freedom really is just one phone call away. (325) 232-5449.
And it's all free because of people like you, the ones who, as Deborah put it, gave her kids their mom back.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or thoughts of suicide, you are not alone and help is available. Rise Discipleship's 24/7 helpline is (325) 232-5449.
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