He Lived a Double Life Since Boyhood. A Jail Cell Floor Showed Him Where It Was Headed.
- Pastor Rey
- Aug 11
- 3 min read
Andrew Bray came to the Rise Discipleship men's home from Las Vegas, Nevada, after years of what he calls a very turbulent lifestyle: a revolving door of incarceration and a lifelong battle with addiction.
It started young. As a kid he was always getting into fights, setting things on fire, shoplifting from stores. Then he would go home and be a good son. Two lives, running side by side, from the time he was a little boy.
"When I got older, the double life was just my standard."
The Man Across the Cell
There was one time he was thrown in county again. He doesn't even remember which county, because he had been to so many. He was cold turkey, withdrawing off heroin on the concrete floor. Again.
He wasn't the only one. Across the same cell, another man, older and further along in years, was going through the exact same thing. Andrew looked at him and saw himself. He saw what he was becoming. But that wasn't the part that scared him.
"The man didn't look miserable. He looked happy to be there, going through the pain. I could tell it was Satan mocking me. It wasn't anything natural."
Spiraling
He would like to say he changed after that. He didn't. Right out of jail he was using again, and his life was spiraling into violence.
One day he had just finished a fight, beat up, knuckles wrecked, limping. He didn't want to go home and pile more stress on his wife, so he wandered, dope in his pocket, killing time in a Starbucks bathroom, which he says was his favorite spot. Finally he called his parents. They drove from Utah to come get him.
A Week to Decide, and He Didn't Want It
At his parents' house in St. George, they let him withdraw a little. Then came the choice. He could do the thing he was actually good at, get a job, work it, tell himself he would do better this time. Or he could get help, which he hated, because help had only ever meant county jail or a court-ordered rehab he always got kicked out of.
Then his mom told him about a different kind of place: a Christian program where he could go for a year and get clean. His parents gave him a week to decide, work or the home. He didn't want the week.
"I said, just take me there. Don't let me think about it."
You Can't Sell Yourself Free
A brother in the home who had graduated told him something that reframed everything. Men come in thinking the home is just rehab, a place to get fixed and get out. But then their heart gets involved, and they realize it's something else entirely.
The lie is that you can earn your own way out, that you can hustle and perform and sell yourself into freedom. Andrew learned it's the opposite. Trying to buy your own freedom is exactly how the chains of the world tighten on you.
"If you can discipline yourself to say no to these things, to say no to the world, to turn away from sin, that's where you receive the freedom. And that's what I've been getting from the home."
What He's Thankful For
Andrew points first to the two pillars who never gave up on him: his mother and father, who told him about the home and who had been praying for him his whole life. Then the brothers in the home, without whom he says his transformation would not have been possible at all. And Pastor Ray, for making the home a reality in the first place.
If This Is You
Andrew cycled through jail cells and withdrawals for years, certain that this was just who he was. It wasn't. If that's where you are, or if someone you love is caught in the same cycle, don't wait. It's free, a real person answers day or night, and it starts with one call.
Ready to reach out? Get help now. Freedom really is just one phone call away. (325) 232-5449.
And it's all free because of people like you.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or thoughts of suicide, you are not alone and help is available. Rise Discipleship's 24/7 helpline is (325) 232-5449.
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