For Four Years He Kept Relapsing. Then Jacob Learned the Drugs Were Never the Real Problem.
- Pastor Rey
- Aug 13
- 3 min read
Jacob Crawford is from Austin, Texas, and a proud graduate of the Rise Discipleship home. But for most of his life, he was alone.
Both of his parents passed away, and as an only child, he was thrown into the world by himself, carrying abandonment wounds he had no idea how to hold. So he did what a lot of people do with pain that deep. He numbed it with drugs.
The Cycle
Even after he got saved, Jacob couldn't break free. For four years he lived in a loop of relapse and sobriety, relapse and sobriety. The longest stretch of clean time he could string together was about a month.
"I felt hopeless. I thought that was all my life was ever going to come to."
The Thing He Got Wrong About Drugs
Jacob came to Rise with a lot of baggage. And slowly, with God right beside him the whole time, they unpacked it piece by piece. That's when the truth finally surfaced, the one that changed how he saw everything.
"I realized the drugs I was using were never the problem. They were the solution to my problem, the pain and the abandonment."
God was asking him to do the last thing an addict ever wants to do: open himself back up to that pain and let God come and heal it, so that he wouldn't need the drugs anymore. Jacob says it was the hardest thing he has ever done. But he wasn't doing it alone. God walked with him through the whole thing.
Freedom in the Small Things
On his twelfth day in the home, Jacob got a revelation he still remembers clearly: the freedom he had been longing for was found in little acts of obedience.
And he realized God had been gracious enough to bring him to a place with thousands of small chances every single day to be obedient to the authority God had put in his life. Each one was a way of handing his own will back to God. He started living it out, and slowly but surely, his life began to change.
"I could literally feel the life transformation happening."
About three months in, an overwhelming assurance settled over him that he was in the exact place God wanted him to be. He knew he was in God's will, and he didn't want to live another day outside of it.
Caring for Someone Besides Himself
As an only child, Jacob had spent his whole life living for himself, doing what he wanted, when he wanted, because he wanted to. Then he started helping oversee the home, and one specific day God laid the brothers around him on his heart.
He began looking at them differently, putting their needs above his own.
"I can remember, very specifically, caring about others for the first time ever in my life."
He struggles to put the change into words. He only knows this: he is truly not the same person he was a year ago. His plan now is to stay, work for the church, and serve God with everything he has.
He wants to thank Anthony G for seeing something in him that he couldn't see in himself and constantly pushing him to become the best version of himself, and Pastor Ray for following the vision God gave him and making all of it possible.
If This Is You
Jacob relapsed for four years and was convinced hopelessness was the end of his story. It wasn't. If that's where you are, or if someone you love keeps ending up back at the bottom, don't wait. It's free, a real person answers day or night, and it starts with one call.
Ready to reach out? Get help now. Freedom really is just one phone call away. (325) 232-5449.
And it's all free because of people like you.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or thoughts of suicide, you are not alone and help is available. Rise Discipleship's 24/7 helpline is (325) 232-5449.
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