He Discipled Other People's Kids Off Drugs for Years. His Own Two Sons Were the Ones He Couldn't Reach.

Juan Martinez is a pastor. He's also a father of two graduates of the Rise Discipleship home, and, years before any of that, he was addicted himself for a long time. So when his own children fell into addiction, he understood the terror from the inside out, including something his mother had tried to tell him for years.

"When I used to get incarcerated, my mom would say, it's so good that you got incarcerated. I'd say, why are you happy I went to jail? And she'd say, because I know you're alive."

He didn't understand that until he became the parent lying awake through restless nights, gasping for air, not knowing if his child would be alive in the morning. Eventually he called his mom and apologized.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJPBL_hLy4k

Being a Pastor Doesn't Make You Numb

Juan is honest that his collar didn't exempt him from the fear. There were seasons his faith was strong, when he chose to dwell on what was good and pure and prayed hard for his kids. And there were seasons he wrestled with God.

"I'd say, God, how do you want me to pastor people and help them navigate life, when I don't feel like I have the answers in my own life as a dad?"

He describes feeling swallowed, like Jonah inside the whale, unable to see anything, trying to trust God and not lean on his own understanding. What kept him standing was community. He surrounded himself with people who made him strong when he was weak, which is exactly why, he says, life groups matter so much.

The Hardest Part Wasn't Dropping Them Off

When Juan dropped his sons off, he actually felt relief, the same thing his mother had felt: at least I know they're alive, and I know where they are. The hard part came next.

His sons went to Rise twice, and both times, in the first weeks, the desperate calls came. What still amazes him is that both sons, separately, said the exact same words.

"They'd call, desperate. I want to come home. I'm good now. And it had only been two or three weeks. They don't really level out until about 90 days."

That, he says, was harder than the drop-off, wanting them home so badly, but knowing from his own life that nobody changes in two weeks, and holding the line anyway. Because parents who love their kids want to believe them when they say the right things.

One of those times, he sent a son away right before Thanksgiving. His wife protested, it's Thanksgiving. But Juan knew the holidays meant parties, and he didn't want his son to die.

"I put him on a Greyhound and sent him. That one was really hard. But I didn't want to lose him."

Why He Couldn't Do It Himself

Here's the irony Juan lives with. He and his wife now pastor a church and help people out of addiction all the time. He has personally discipled people right off drugs.

"I don't know why, but I just couldn't do it with my own kids."

So he sent them to Rise, where he already knew Pastor Ray and had seen what God had done in his life. And the home gave his sons the very things Juan had tried to give them as a dad and a pastor, Jesus, a life under authority, principles they somehow couldn't receive from their own father, but received there.

Where His Sons Are Now

Today both of Juan's sons are clean. One is married and serving as a youth pastor. The other is in Dallas, doing great. And the lessons they refused to learn from him growing up, they learned at Rise, and now, in conversation, Juan can see it all came together.

But the thing he treasures most isn't their sobriety. It's the phone that rings back.

"Before, your sons ignore you, they don't answer the text, because they're up to no good. The best feeling in the world is being reconnected, having an actual relationship, not just the title of dad and son. We talk all the time. We're planning dinner in a couple days."

This Is Your Helicopter

Juan tells the old story about a man in a flood who prays for rescue and turns away the help that comes, a boat, a helicopter, and drowns, then asks God in heaven why He never helped. God answers: I sent you the boat and the helicopter.

Juan's point to any parent reading this is simple and direct.

"This is the helicopter. This is the boat. Get them to a place like Rise where they can learn about Jesus and actually walk it out. You're going to get the calls saying it's difficult. But what in life isn't?"

And then, the sentence he most wants a worn-out parent to hear:

"Maybe it's time to stop being codependent, and depend on the One who can save not just your kids, but you."

If This Is You

If you're the parent Juan is describing, exhausted, praying, terrified of the next phone call, you are not alone, and there is a way through. Start here with the free guide for families. And when you're ready, the door is open for your child.

Get help now. It's free, a real person answers day or night, and it starts with one call. (325) 232-5449.

And it stays free because of people like you, who make a home like this possible for families who have nowhere else to turn.

Juan Martinez is the pastor of Get Wrapped, the founder of Juan Martinez Ministries, and the author of That's Crazy — No, That's God: When the Supernatural Becomes Your Reality. He walked his own road out of addiction before walking two sons through theirs.

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If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or thoughts of suicide, you are not alone and help is available. Rise Discipleship's 24/7 helpline is (325) 232-5449.